A Pensacola station has hired a new Anchor that is anything but new. 

WEAR has hired 81 year old Marie Garner as their new main female Anchor. Garner will Anchor the station's early evening newscasts and will be seen on the late news if she wakes up from her nap. Otherwise, the station says she will solo anchor the late news. 

"We figured that only 80 year olds are watching our station, so why not have someone their own age give them the news," said WEAR's News Director. 

The station says that it also will save money on paying Garner's health benefits as well. "She's on Medicaid, so this is costing us nothing," the News Director said. 

Although, Garner is in a wheelchair, the station says she still will be required to shoot and edit at least 3 stories a week and update her social media accounts.

"She didn't have a clue what Twitter or Facebook was, but we're showing her," says WEAR Web Editor Micah Brown. 

"The first thing I'm going to do is post a selfie at a murder scene," Garner says. 

The other staffers at WEAR have started calling Garner "grandma" but after a memo from the HR department and a seminar on sensitivity, they are just calling her "Marie" again. 

Now if you have gotten this far and not figured out that this is FTVLive's April Fool's joke then you really need to get out of television news right now.

Please. 

As for Marie Garner, she really did get to Anchor at WEAR and here's the story.